Wednesday, August 15, 2007

' Fessing Up

When I began this Blog, I told myself that I was just playing with the idea. I wanted to see what I could learn to do with a web page. I wanted to explore the media and learn as I went, to possibly sharpen my techi skills in hopes of someday having an e-biz to generate some much needed moola.

To my new internet friends and readers I have to say it was a
good try, but not completely honest.

I have MS, but said this was not an MS Blog.
What’s wrong with an MS blog? I read others. There is a need to connect and share and educate.

Am I hiding?

Is it denial?

I read some words today in a wonderfully written blog that hit a nerve: ( geeesh, nerve, not meant to be an MS pun)
“I do not mean to attract attention or invite sympathy.”

Is it cognitive dissonance? I see it as a double edged sword. One side of the sword is the need to express your concerns, fears, frustrations and grief over the life you’ve lost while the other side is self loathing of perceived weakness, whining and vulnerability.

Still, I don’t want Multiple Sclerosis to define me. I don’t want to give it any more of my attention, energy and focus than it deserves. I guess it’s not what happens to us in this life that matters, but how we handle what happens to us that count. I fear that sometimes I handle it badly, then cut myself some slack only to do it again.




Just read your comment today on my blog (yes, it IS an MS blog, which has spilled over into writing about my otherwise somewhat chaotic life! LOL) and drove over here to read about you...very nicely written speaks genuinely to ALL of us trying to make our way and lives with MS. And yes, that crappy, "I have MS, but it doesn't have me" saying must have been written by someone who's worst ailment was hemmorhoids! I channel THEIR pain in the butt regularly when I hear that saying...LOL

Jayme said...

Great attitude. I like it!