Friday, October 12, 2007

tech support

(my amaryllis last spring)
I delete so many emails a day that friends forward on to me. Some I've seen many times before, some I immediately recognize as hoaxes, and some are just so stupid I have to laugh. I'm sure I've seen this one before, but I kept it, and thought I would pass it on.




INSTALLING LOVE



Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?



Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?



Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?



Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.

What do I do first?



Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?



Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.

Is it okay to install Love while they are running?



Tech Support: What programs are running ?



Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.



Tech Support: No problem. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?



Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?



Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.



Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?



Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.



Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components " What should I do?



Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run
on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.




Customer: So, what should I do?



Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.



Customer: Okay, done.



Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.



Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?



Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.



Customer: Thank you, God.



God/Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime.



5 comments:

BRAINCHEESE said...

AWWWWWWW...

Bubbie said...

BC: I know! Totaly unlike me...sappy and too cute. I blame the rebiff withdrawal. Titrating down I think, off totally this week. I'm such a weepy, sappy dweeb of late.

Merelyme said...

oooh this is good...thanks for sharing this! i am so sorry for being neglectful these past weeks. i want to hear all about how you are doing. what's going on with you taking rebiff? i need to catch up. i will write soon.

Paul said...

Cute but touches on some big topics...

Bubbie said...

Paul:
Thanks for stopping by. I visited your blog and will be back. Yes, it's cutesy but does touch on big topics. Self-Acceptance, forgiving self, realising self worth and acknowleging limitations, is especially relevant to me and many others facing chronic illnesses.It's a journey.

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