The table of contents looked unlikely to be promising. It was divided into departments. There was :
- Beauty (of course)
- Beauty By Design (looking less interesting)
- Health (OK! Hopefully some substance)
- Home ( of course...domestic Deva's)
- Life (possibly interesting)
So I begin to peruse, and naturally I am not surprised that the articles are just camouflaged advertisements. In the Beauty department we have an article (ad) that asks if you are feeling inexplicably drab this fall. Well, are you? Maybe you need therapy - color therapy! If your locks look less than brilliant you need hair color!
This is followed by an article (ad) for Non-surgical body sculpting. Did you know that it is now possible to selectively sculpt your bulging belly, love handles, double chins and saddlebags with somethings called mesotherapy, lipotherapy and cold lasers?
Does your makeup need a makeover? You have to know the new colors.
Do you not know what style is best for you? There are two women in town that have made a business of coming to your home, rummaging through your closets, and deciding exactly what is right for you. Then they will shop for you and basically dress you for work and play and then you too can have the confidence you lacked because now you are assuredly "In-Style".
Well now, you might have the right hair color, makeup and clothes and still there's something amiss. It's your Boobs! An ad, ooops, no an article on a no visible scar technique of Breast Augmentation. Meet the doctor and see the before and after pics of the now happy women with their bigger perkier boobs.
Now that you have the exciting hair color, the right makeup, wardrobe and new boobs life must be peachy. Oh no...the truth is you're not a kid and the signs of aging are apparent despite the fact that people are now looking at you boobs more than your face. Next article...an Aesthetic-Specialist (guessing not an MD) is offering you a way to reveal your beauty with wrinkle reduction, botox, chemical peels, injectable wrinkle fillers, anti-aging supplements and more! This is followed by several more articles(ads) for whiter teeth and permanent makeup (so you can wake up looking gorgeous).
I'm halfway through the little magazine now. I'm on page 40. Surely there must be something of substance here somewhere. So far all I have seen are negative messages about self image. I'm really not surprised.Not only are we told we have to fight the natural aging process to always look young, in order to be "happy" you have to be made-up, dressed and surgically augmented in an attempt to fit some "ideal". Is Gloria Steinham dead? Didn't we come a long way baby?
Finally. Page 41!
The pretty good doctor from the cover promises to give women "something to talk about"!
It says: "With the skill of a surgeon and the gentleness of a woman's touch, Dr.(Southern Belle) is transforming women's lives through feminine rejuvenation surgery."
Now I'm in total disbelief! Shock! With artsy botanical photographs ala Georgia O'Keeffe, the article (ad) describes how women's lives were changed with her skill of creating .......
Have you guessed?
Have you ever heard of this before? Has Bubbie been the only one who hasn't heard that this is now what we should be concerned about? After hair, makeup,clothing, boobs, wrinkles, age spots, and a perfect smile we need the goodly doctor's services for her specialty...sitting down?
She creates: "Designer" Vagina's!
WTH? I read on. A case study...a 52 year old divorced woman found herself ready to face the dating scene again. Her age and the fact that she bore two children changed her body. She had anxiety over having sex again. She felt old and worn out "down there" and was extremely self conscious about opening herself up to the intimacy of sex. She struggled with this feminine issue ( I had no idea this was an issue )that she felt she would simply have to live with because it was something she simply couldn't discuss.
A 43 year old woman and her boyfriend were playfully watching the Playboy channel. (sure) Afterwards she had to ask herself, "Why don't I look like that?" ( I swear, I am taking this right from the pages) Her external folds were elongated and excessive and after having Labiaplasty she felt younger and more confident with a brand new look.
I don't know what to say...hasn't today's woman had enough negative messages about striving to some unattainable standard of beauty to be happy. Anorexic runway models bodies with big unnatural boobs, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, Nefertiti's makeup and now Porn star's "coochies"! Designer Vaginas?????? I'm being told that that is what we need to boost our self esteem!
Not only can the pretty doctor modify the aesthetics of your labia with labiaplasty, she can tighten your vaginal muscles with Vaginalplasty, give you G-spot enhancement using injectable fillers or give you a Hymenorrhaphy. Yes, you can become a virgin once again, lest your old world groom- to -be mark you with a scarlet letter.
Is this just something new to my area of the country? How long has this "service" been in demand? A 5 second Google search assured me that this is nothing new.
The rest of the magazine awaits...I don't know that I can take it. There are more articles(ads) for diets, exercise programs with personal trainers, a how-to article (Not an ad!) for making the perfect holiday wreath for your front door and then, how to ask for and get a raise. I'm guessing that it depends on the boss, and how much of the aforementioned advice and services you have used.
I'm not amused. I'm feeling very sad for our young girls, children and grandchildren. Will they all need makeovers to be happy? Must they strive for some strange standard of perfection from their heads to their toes and now their vagina's?
Is this a "REAL" problem? Living with chronic health conditions can be a cause of stress and Lord knows their are bigger problems we face in this world we live in. I think that if my biggest problem was the aesthetics of my vagina it indeed would be a wonderful world.