Friday, October 26, 2007

Woman to Woman?

I haven't had much to say. Bubbie's world has been pretty uneventful. Nothing terribly amusing, nor any flaring upsets. Not much to talk about until I picked up a little book sized glossy magazine the other day.

I felt compelled to share this with you, dear blog readers. It came free in one of the local rags. It's a local publication called Woman To Woman. On the cover is a photo of a local female doctor. She's a gynecologist but looks like an over 50 model. She appears to be a contemporary southern belle as if she could have been a Miss Georgia or Alabama a few decades ago.

The print below her picture says "Giving Women Something to Talk About". Hmmmm? Woman's issues? Maybe reproductive rights, preventative medicine, ways to lower stress, tips for women in the work place?


The table of contents looked unlikely to be promising. It was divided into departments. There was :

  • Beauty (of course)

  • Beauty By Design (looking less interesting)

  • Health (OK! Hopefully some substance)

  • Home ( of course...domestic Deva's)

  • Life (possibly interesting)

So I begin to peruse, and naturally I am not surprised that the articles are just camouflaged advertisements. In the Beauty department we have an article (ad) that asks if you are feeling inexplicably drab this fall. Well, are you? Maybe you need therapy - color therapy! If your locks look less than brilliant you need hair color!

This is followed by an article (ad) for Non-surgical body sculpting. Did you know that it is now possible to selectively sculpt your bulging belly, love handles, double chins and saddlebags with somethings called mesotherapy, lipotherapy and cold lasers?

Does your makeup need a makeover? You have to know the new colors.

Do you not know what style is best for you? There are two women in town that have made a business of coming to your home, rummaging through your closets, and deciding exactly what is right for you. Then they will shop for you and basically dress you for work and play and then you too can have the confidence you lacked because now you are assuredly "In-Style".

Well now, you might have the right hair color, makeup and clothes and still there's something amiss. It's your Boobs! An ad, ooops, no an article on a no visible scar technique of Breast Augmentation. Meet the doctor and see the before and after pics of the now happy women with their bigger perkier boobs.

Now that you have the exciting hair color, the right makeup, wardrobe and new boobs life must be peachy. Oh no...the truth is you're not a kid and the signs of aging are apparent despite the fact that people are now looking at you boobs more than your face. Next Aesthetic-Specialist (guessing not an MD) is offering you a way to reveal your beauty with wrinkle reduction, botox, chemical peels, injectable wrinkle fillers, anti-aging supplements and more! This is followed by several more articles(ads) for whiter teeth and permanent makeup (so you can wake up looking gorgeous).

I'm halfway through the little magazine now. I'm on page 40. Surely there must be something of substance here somewhere. So far all I have seen are negative messages about self image. I'm really not surprised.Not only are we told we have to fight the natural aging process to always look young, in order to be "happy" you have to be made-up, dressed and surgically augmented in an attempt to fit some "ideal". Is Gloria Steinham dead? Didn't we come a long way baby?

Finally. Page 41!

The pretty good doctor from the cover promises to give women "something to talk about"!


It says: "With the skill of a surgeon and the gentleness of a woman's touch, Dr.(Southern Belle) is transforming women's lives through feminine rejuvenation surgery."

Now I'm in total disbelief! Shock! With artsy botanical photographs ala Georgia O'Keeffe, the article (ad) describes how women's lives were changed with her skill of creating .......

Have you guessed?

Have you ever heard of this before? Has Bubbie been the only one who hasn't heard that this is now what we should be concerned about? After hair, makeup,clothing, boobs, wrinkles, age spots, and a perfect smile we need the goodly doctor's services for her specialty...sitting down?

She creates: "Designer" Vagina's!

WTH? I read on. A case study...a 52 year old divorced woman found herself ready to face the dating scene again. Her age and the fact that she bore two children changed her body. She had anxiety over having sex again. She felt old and worn out "down there" and was extremely self conscious about opening herself up to the intimacy of sex. She struggled with this feminine issue ( I had no idea this was an issue )that she felt she would simply have to live with because it was something she simply couldn't discuss.

A 43 year old woman and her boyfriend were playfully watching the Playboy channel. (sure) Afterwards she had to ask herself, "Why don't I look like that?" ( I swear, I am taking this right from the pages) Her external folds were elongated and excessive and after having Labiaplasty she felt younger and more confident with a brand new look.

I don't know what to say...hasn't today's woman had enough negative messages about striving to some unattainable standard of beauty to be happy. Anorexic runway models bodies with big unnatural boobs, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, Nefertiti's makeup and now Porn star's "coochies"! Designer Vaginas?????? I'm being told that that is what we need to boost our self esteem!

Not only can the pretty doctor modify the aesthetics of your labia with labiaplasty, she can tighten your vaginal muscles with Vaginalplasty, give you G-spot enhancement using injectable fillers or give you a Hymenorrhaphy. Yes, you can become a virgin once again, lest your old world groom- to -be mark you with a scarlet letter.

Is this just something new to my area of the country? How long has this "service" been in demand? A 5 second Google search assured me that this is nothing new.

The rest of the magazine awaits...I don't know that I can take it. There are more articles(ads) for diets, exercise programs with personal trainers, a how-to article (Not an ad!) for making the perfect holiday wreath for your front door and then, how to ask for and get a raise. I'm guessing that it depends on the boss, and how much of the aforementioned advice and services you have used.

I'm not amused. I'm feeling very sad for our young girls, children and grandchildren. Will they all need makeovers to be happy? Must they strive for some strange standard of perfection from their heads to their toes and now their vagina's?

Is this a "REAL" problem? Living with chronic health conditions can be a cause of stress and Lord knows their are bigger problems we face in this world we live in. I think that if my biggest problem was the aesthetics of my vagina it indeed would be a wonderful world.


Zee said...

Holy mother of gawd! Are they for real?? Labiaplasty? Labia? Plasty? Vaginalplasty? Hymenorrhaphy?

I've never had a baby so I don't know what vaginal delivery does to one's nether-regions, but I'm not sure I would ever willingly put myself under the knif for something as completely ridiculous and unnecessary as that.

I'm with you: if my worst problem was that "my external folds were elongated and excessive" it would indeed be a pretty good life. Somebody clearly needs something to worry about... ;-)

Anne said...

Hi Bubbie,

I saw this for the first time on E channel Doctor 90210 and I couldn't believe it. Of course this doc is in California (Californica!), but these women truly have never had a real crisis in their lives.

They did a story on a girl who used to be a hooker, left that life, got married, had 2 kids, and "needed a labiaplasty" at the ripe age of 32 because she "looked 65 down there". Unbelievable.

Must be a West Coast kind of thing.

I never want to know what age mine is, was, or will become and clearly I have more issues to worry about than that! LOL


Sharon said...

I also saw this on the show Dr. 90210. what gets me is girls today are getting plastic surgery for their graduation presents. What message are the parents sending by buying this as a gift for their daughters. I'm glad I have a son but then again looks are put on boys as being very important also. My son is 5'8" and 150 pounds for a 12 year old. Some kid callled him fatty the other day. My son came home asking if I thought he was fat. Are you kidding me?


OK, I'm REALLY in from the stone age! Since when did people start having sex with the LIGHT ON?!?

Geez...I thought that was the purpose of "doin it" in the can make up any scenario/fantasy you want! And in the morning...if everyone is still present and accounted for, the only one who STILL sees my va gi gi is my toilet...sigh...

Linda D. in Seattle

Merelyme said...


i actually have heard of this and...first of all...OUCH! and second of all...why? unless you have been in some sort of horrible accident down there...there truly is never a need to alter things.

that is just...blech.

mdmhvonpa said...

You know ... I always enjoyed Georgia OKeefe's paintings till someone blew it for me and told me what she was supposedly trying to accomplish. And here this naive farm boy thought they were pretty flowers.

Bubbie said...

I can only comment on your reaction:
LMAO! Naive Farm Boy! Right.

Bubbie said...

Ann and Sharon: I have never seen 90210. Guess I'm not missing anything. Hard to believe that plastic surgery is now accepted and encouraged for our young people. And now, for the older trying to escape from the inevitable. Facial and Boobs are almost so commonplace no one actuallt thinks about it...But designer coochies brings it all back to the absurd.

Bubbie said...

merelyme: Ouch indeed!

Bubbie said...

Ms. Cheese:
Guess you can't make a good video with the lights out.
What's next...modeling?

Joan said...

All I can say is, "Ugh!!"