Enough about Santa...it's too early! This is my Favorite Halloween Song.
Richard Shindell is one of my favorite singer/songwriters and this song always makes me smile.
I've seen him sing this and others live on a few occaisions. It's always a great treat.
Considering it's not yet Halloween and we have been conditioned to already think of Santa Clause :
You thought I might forget, but NO! I tag Merelyme, Sharon, and our new friend Callie. Let's see your lists.
The table of contents looked unlikely to be promising. It was divided into departments. There was :
So I begin to peruse, and naturally I am not surprised that the articles are just camouflaged advertisements. In the Beauty department we have an article (ad) that asks if you are feeling inexplicably drab this fall. Well, are you? Maybe you need therapy - color therapy! If your locks look less than brilliant you need hair color!
This is followed by an article (ad) for Non-surgical body sculpting. Did you know that it is now possible to selectively sculpt your bulging belly, love handles, double chins and saddlebags with somethings called mesotherapy, lipotherapy and cold lasers?
Does your makeup need a makeover? You have to know the new colors.
Do you not know what style is best for you? There are two women in town that have made a business of coming to your home, rummaging through your closets, and deciding exactly what is right for you. Then they will shop for you and basically dress you for work and play and then you too can have the confidence you lacked because now you are assuredly "In-Style".
Well now, you might have the right hair color, makeup and clothes and still there's something amiss. It's your Boobs! An ad, ooops, no an article on a no visible scar technique of Breast Augmentation. Meet the doctor and see the before and after pics of the now happy women with their bigger perkier boobs.
Now that you have the exciting hair color, the right makeup, wardrobe and new boobs life must be peachy. Oh no...the truth is you're not a kid and the signs of aging are apparent despite the fact that people are now looking at you boobs more than your face. Next article...an Aesthetic-Specialist (guessing not an MD) is offering you a way to reveal your beauty with wrinkle reduction, botox, chemical peels, injectable wrinkle fillers, anti-aging supplements and more! This is followed by several more articles(ads) for whiter teeth and permanent makeup (so you can wake up looking gorgeous).
I'm halfway through the little magazine now. I'm on page 40. Surely there must be something of substance here somewhere. So far all I have seen are negative messages about self image. I'm really not surprised.Not only are we told we have to fight the natural aging process to always look young, in order to be "happy" you have to be made-up, dressed and surgically augmented in an attempt to fit some "ideal". Is Gloria Steinham dead? Didn't we come a long way baby?
Finally. Page 41!
The pretty good doctor from the cover promises to give women "something to talk about"!
OMG!
It says: "With the skill of a surgeon and the gentleness of a woman's touch, Dr.(Southern Belle) is transforming women's lives through feminine rejuvenation surgery."
Now I'm in total disbelief! Shock! With artsy botanical photographs ala Georgia O'Keeffe, the article (ad) describes how women's lives were changed with her skill of creating .......
Have you guessed?
Have you ever heard of this before? Has Bubbie been the only one who hasn't heard that this is now what we should be concerned about? After hair, makeup,clothing, boobs, wrinkles, age spots, and a perfect smile we need the goodly doctor's services for her specialty...sitting down?
She creates: "Designer" Vagina's!
WTH? I read on. A case study...a 52 year old divorced woman found herself ready to face the dating scene again. Her age and the fact that she bore two children changed her body. She had anxiety over having sex again. She felt old and worn out "down there" and was extremely self conscious about opening herself up to the intimacy of sex. She struggled with this feminine issue ( I had no idea this was an issue )that she felt she would simply have to live with because it was something she simply couldn't discuss.
A 43 year old woman and her boyfriend were playfully watching the Playboy channel. (sure) Afterwards she had to ask herself, "Why don't I look like that?" ( I swear, I am taking this right from the pages) Her external folds were elongated and excessive and after having Labiaplasty she felt younger and more confident with a brand new look.
I don't know what to say...hasn't today's woman had enough negative messages about striving to some unattainable standard of beauty to be happy. Anorexic runway models bodies with big unnatural boobs, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, Nefertiti's makeup and now Porn star's "coochies"! Designer Vaginas?????? I'm being told that that is what we need to boost our self esteem!
Not only can the pretty doctor modify the aesthetics of your labia with labiaplasty, she can tighten your vaginal muscles with Vaginalplasty, give you G-spot enhancement using injectable fillers or give you a Hymenorrhaphy. Yes, you can become a virgin once again, lest your old world groom- to -be mark you with a scarlet letter.
Is this just something new to my area of the country? How long has this "service" been in demand? A 5 second Google search assured me that this is nothing new.
The rest of the magazine awaits...I don't know that I can take it. There are more articles(ads) for diets, exercise programs with personal trainers, a how-to article (Not an ad!) for making the perfect holiday wreath for your front door and then, how to ask for and get a raise. I'm guessing that it depends on the boss, and how much of the aforementioned advice and services you have used.
I'm not amused. I'm feeling very sad for our young girls, children and grandchildren. Will they all need makeovers to be happy? Must they strive for some strange standard of perfection from their heads to their toes and now their vagina's?
Is this a "REAL" problem? Living with chronic health conditions can be a cause of stress and Lord knows their are bigger problems we face in this world we live in. I think that if my biggest problem was the aesthetics of my vagina it indeed would be a wonderful world.
I the July/August Issue of Neurology Now there was an article about Richard Cohen. Cohen was diagnosed in 1973 at the age of 25 with Multiple Sclerosis. At the time he had just landed a great job working with ABC news as an associate producer at the time of the Watergate hearings.
MS was not a mysterious disease for him to come to grips with. His mother and father both had Multiple Sclerosis.
Patrick Jones adds:
Obviously we have to try to move past the fact that this and that keeps happening with our MS and decide what we can do, want to do, and do it. (sometime I feel like I need to do things whle I am able)
So, I can still paint, I just have new limitations...but I can still enjoy the process. Which brings me to CO-CREATION. Following my passions regardless of preconceived notions on what the end result should be. I really don't know what else I would do that has value to me.
If I don't post as often it will be because I am conserving my time and attempting to schedule myself into my life as I now know it. If I don't I surely will fall into stagnation and back to depression.
(my amaryllis last spring)Woke up too early to get moving and face the day. What to do? Read blogs! Ms.Cheese found that she is a "Fall" season. The season's really mean nothing much to me in Florida except that we just might have a drop in the humidity here soon. It IS fall afterall, and I'm still waiting to be able to go outside without melting. I've been waiting to replace the flowers in my window boxes with petunias, but it will have to wait, these temps would have them wilted and fried before they had a chance to flourish.
Then looking at the list of quizzes, I couldn't resist finding out what color my brain was. The MRI's are all Black and White. LOL. Green doesn't sound like a healthy color for an internal organ, but it is coincidently my favorite color.
| You Belong in Spring |
 |
| Your Brain is Green |
 You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual). |
This is for the Kiddies. My little granddaughter loves to sing. She sings to me on the phone. I have to listen carefully to decipher whether it's the "ABC" song or "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".
It occurred to me that her momma and her Uncle (my son and daughter) never sang nursery rhymes unless of course their daddy and I made some verse modifications of our own. They sang funny folk songs from some of our favorite and some obscure singer songwriters.
If you are not familiar with Loudon Wainwrite lll, you may remember him from the movie "MASH", he was the troubadour that sang the "Suicide is Painless" opening song. If not and you are from the "other" generation, you might know him as Rufus Wainwrite's dad.
So this is a ditty that my kids should remember, especially on long car rides, (I don't think we messed them up too bad..lol) and one to teach the grand baby. Now let me hear you sing it out!
You'll be cursing me when you find yourself humming this at work later in the day.....
1. I was born within a few days of the launch of the Russian satellite, SPUTNIK. The anniversary of that launch was 50 years ago! My father thought it amusing to call me his little sputnik for long after it ceased to be cute.
2. Some people have seasonal disorders. I have directional disorder. Let me explain. I appear to be extremely sensitive to the directions, i.e. North/South/East/West. This was not well apparent until after years of being teased by my children about "Mom's space" and "Mom's chair". It was then realised that Mom's chair, easel, work space, bed, reading chair, always share the same direction. I am most at ease facing the South East. I have no idea what that means...
3. I was an exemplary student. Only once was I disciplined in High School. That incident was for pushing the envelope between good taste and freedom of speech in school newspaper's morning radio show. For music to accompany the announcement of the engagement of two teachers who had been hot and heavy for the past semester, I choose a selection from John Hartford's, Aeroplane: Hey Babe Ya Wanna Boogie, Boogie Woogie Woogie With Me. (complete with sound effects) It was soooo worth it.
4. For several years I worked for the circus. That would be THE CIRCUS, you know, 3 rings and all... (there's obviously more to this story than will fit in this list.)
5. I have a fear of clowns. (see number 4)
6. Dark waters. My darkest fear. Although a fair to excellent swimmer I'm sure I would drown if I found myself plunged into any depth of water at night. A shrink could have a field day with that one.
7. In my teens, I sang with a band that played opening week at Disney world's Land of Tomorrow space aged looking diner. The platform rose up from the lower levels and magically appeared in a poof of smoke on stage. We were so cool. And no, I never became a company owned Mouseketeer. I had too many ideas of my own and the bad girl image wasn't gonna fly back then.
I like cows. I'm thinking this blog post should come with a warming lable.
WARNING: WATCHING OR LISTENING TO IMBEDDED VIDEO OR READING THE PROCEEDING BLOGGERY MAY CAUSE BLUE MOODS, UNCONTROLLABLE BINGES, HYSTERIA AND OTHER UNACCEPTABLE SOCIAL BEHAVIORS. READ AT OWN RISK.
That said maybe I should rename this post to BUBBIE. THE DARK SIDE
I've been humming this tune all morning, so I found it on UTUBE so you can share in Mr.Cohen's genious for the divinely depressing.
I don't usually write like this. It's uncomfortable. It makes me squirm. It's too revealing. My kids read this. I don't like to sound like I'm whining, moaning or otherwise being what I consider distasteful and annoying. This is the World Wide Web we're on...what am I thinking?
But hey! This is cheaper than seeing a shrink, so here goes:
An able bodied, well meaning friend of mine introduced me to a woman she knows who also has MS. The woman contacted me and was very nice. She wanted to pick me up and take me with her to a local support group meeting today. I had originally agreed. She drives, with hand controls and gets around in her motorized scooter. I was impressed. She has secondary progressive MS, told me she doesn't have pain, just lack of mobility.
I chickened out. Yup. I called her this morning and told her (no lie) that I had a miserable headache and needed to stay home and medicate. So, I didn't lie, I did feel like a monumental piece of fecal matter this morning. I don't feel that much better now. But, honestly, that was just sooo convenient.
I went once last year to a different local "support"meeting. One of the drug reps spoke, along with a local neuro and a salesman for handicap aides. He had a dizzying array of expensive lift aides, safety bars, scooters, bathtub safety items and more. It was catered with Chick-Fil-A and snacks...nothing for a veggie eater but a few carrot sticks. The drug rep threw out gaudy over sized t-shirts to the ones in the group that answered her little quiz questions relating to her little presentation. (Positive reinforcement for actually staying awake) I watched as members of the group reminded me of those overzealous children in 4th grade as they raised and waved their hands to be noticed for the teacher to call on them for the correct answer. A couple of the "regulars" noticed me as a newby and engaged me in conversation about our doctors and treatments and how long we've had MS. A sweet older woman (gotta watch who I call old now...I think I'm there) was in a red scooter with a little wicker basket attached to the handlebars. The basket was decorated with bright silk flowers next to the prominent shiny chrome horn who's rubber ball she would squeeze to make that ooga ogga noise as she passed threw the crowd on her way to the parking lot.
Lets say I wasted no time leaving. Once in the car and out on the road I fought a strong urge to stop at a pub. I made it home and vowed not to do that again.
Why you ask? Maybe it's me, maybe I'm more non compliant than most, but that was freaking depressing! I don't want to be a member of THAT club!
Please accept my most sincere and humble apologies if I've offended any readers at any level of disability. It is not my intention. My intention is to maybe help someone else along with myself work through and identify with this feeling. Depression can spiral from this vantage point.
I don't want to be a member of this club.
I see the abled...the people I worked with and for prior to MS and friends that work other jobs. They are busy with their workweek and projects now, and who's weekends are filled with the stuff of home life and housework.
The disabled...for myself: At home I manage to keep food in the house and prepare a few meals,take care of the dog and birds.The most numerous weekly events include doctors appointments, labs, pharmacies, grocery stores and frequent naps. I attempt to keep the house from being condemned by the Board of Health. I just can't bring myself to make those once a month meetings an event to add to my boring calender and actually look forward to it.
What I saw was people identifying with their disease, the same way my identity used to be heavily defined by my profession. What I also saw were people my age and older who all needed the medical accessories the salesman was hawking, and have all been or are still on the accepted MS therapy medical protocols. Now that's depressing.
My sincere apologies again, if you weren't already depressed and reading this sent you there.
It's a sort of Limbo Land or maybe a self ensnared Purgatory I feel I'm in.
Am I waiting to feel better and resume my old life? I'm not that naive.
Am I waiting for some miraculous medicine to cure this disease, close the book on this chapter and burn the book? NO.
But still I feel like I'm waiting.....
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