Monday, March 31, 2008

avoidance






I haven't written about my MS or MS in general for a long time.



It's avoidance.



It's annoyance.



It's just a series of pains, none of which are actually in my ass.



I had a call this weekend (love caller ID) from a woman whom I had met at a support group. She's unrelenting. A very nice and kind woman who has made me a mission of hers. She invites me to each and every MS group function and even has invited me to the occaisional afternoon movie and lunch.


When I answer the phone...I decline politely. I give some lame arse excuse to the date and time or just my fatigue level. Why can't I just say, " Your group is incredibly depressing! I don't want to fill my days with discussions of meds and symtoms. I want to fill my good days with things I enjoy doing, and THAT'S not one of them!" Honestly, I was the only one in the room not zipping around in a scooter. That's not something I want to see in my probable future.
I mentioned this to my doc once. His reply was that many others with MS don't go to the afternoon meetings because they are more functional and have jobs. I am functional...on most days, and no job. I've been on SSD for 5 years now, and damn it, I'll hobble and walk like a drunk as long as I can. Use it or lose it I tell myself.



So, I get out and about. I go to an art class once a week, visit galleries, go to the beach (when will these tourists go home?!) to the park with my furry monster, tend my flowers and orchids...I try to stay busy, occupied, integrating my life and illness.




Here's one of my favorite games:


When waiting in line at the store, or in an elevator, or any one of those moments of awkward silence with a stranger, inevitably the other person, noticing my dependence on my cane will say something about it. It's usually something like, "I just got rid of my cane after my auto accident/knee surgery/hip replacement." " Did you hurt your knee/hip/whatever?"


I know I should tell people I have Multiple Sclerosis.
Right?
Educate the public....NOT.
I have replied with that answer. It's not the answer they were looking for.
They wanted to identify with me...not be puzzled or scared by the possibility that that could happen to them.
Inevitably, when hearing that answer, before I can elaborate, they shrink away. Ewwwwwww, maybe it's catchy!


So my new game is a quick, jaw dropping answer. Here are a few....


"Rock climbing accident last summer....just now getting back to normal."

"I was parasailing and the rope broke. I crashed hard into the gulf."

"I used to be in the roller derby."

"After this last injury, I'm giving up mud wrestling."

Then hobble away, concealing your smile.

7 comments:

mdmhvonpa said...

When my hobble becomes evident ... I usually quip about 'The old pins are not as good as they used to be.'

This visual image usually snuffs out further probing.

Nevermind that 'pins' is slang for legs.

BRAINCHEESE said...

Ah, GEEZ! Don't BE so effing funny to me at 1:00AM after I've just sludged through the drudgery of work!!! Love that picture and I want it on a T-shirt...

One of my favorite "lines" about my cob-ish walk is, "Botched rectal surgery"...people tend to just LEAVE IT alone...LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

Miss Chris said...

I left a support group for exactly the same reason...they were depressing me! Argh!

Stuart said...

who is Bubbie, here in South Florida?

Bubbie said...

Ms.Cheese : I want that t shirt too!

Stuart: LOL Who is the Bubbie???? LOL. Just a grandma (hence Bubbie) with MS, musing with my computer and trying to get along with this freakin' disease. Oh...on the Left coast of Florida. Went to college in Ft. Liqourdale and Boca though.

stuart said...

ok- great
I am a Pop-pop, with three grandchildren

Anonymous said...

When people would ask me about my cane I used the following;
1. When the police yell freeze, DO IT!
2. Shark Attack. Lucky I survived.
3. Who knew Kangaroos were aggressive?
4. Knife fight in a phone booth with a squirrel.
5. Gang initiation gone wrong.
I also used to point to whomever was with me and say "she pushed me down the stairs."

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