Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Road Trip!

I've had more than my fair share of flying this year. Hanging out in airports for hours awaiting a delayed or canceled flights is not something I want to do again in my foreseeable future.

I bought a new road atlas! Previously the one in our possession was small and most likely printed from surveys made by George Washington himself.
What about one of those new GPS's with the annoying voice? (my son refers to her as "the bitch") Hell no! Getting lost on side roads and finding the most unusual of landmarks is what we do best. You see the new road maps were purchased as a tease only. It will only be used if and when all other delusional senses of navigation leave us totally stranded with the faint sound of banjos wafting in our car windows.

Exactly where are we going? I can name the state, but exact locations will only be revealed as we discover them. Hopefully the weather and the foliage will be all I hope it to be. Cool and colorful.

I am excited! I have but one anxiety over traveling by car - generic fast service restaurants.
Did I say restaurants? There should be another word for places strategically placed by highways, masquerading as places that serve real food.
First of all, I am a picky eater. No burgers! Ah yes..I'll have a portobella and swiss with honey mustard on a hard roll with a side of organic baby greens please.....Right! So after perusing the menu that features shiny happy people ordering stacks of greasy fat laden offerings, I usually order something presumably innocent, like a grilled cheese.

This would be acceptable if it weren't for my curse. Yes I'm cursed, ask anyone who has ever dined with me at places that sound like Waffle Mouse, Penny's, Emerald Wednesdays, and I Skip.

It has come to the point where we nervously start laughing the moment I give my order. We are anticipating the inevitable. My plate is served, I take an entrenching tool and carefully prod at my food as if I'm expecting it to jump and run away without leaving as much as a tip. And there it is. Always. Without fail. One of two equally disgusting and gag reflex producing things : Short curly hair(s) or tiny baby cockroach(s) that became seared to my entree by the grill.

Mind you, this is only on my plate. Whoever is with me will carefully then scrutinize their plate to find nothing amiss, except for the fact that it's cheap generic food.

This happens so often that I have a rehearsed specific dialogue for my server. After all, she/he was only the delivery person, and to my amazement has never had this specific complaint before!

Wish me luck.

I'll take lots of pictures and maybe even get some on site sketching done.
Check out latest watercolor in my galleria, Summer Croton.


Miss Chris said...

Baby cockroaches??? Ewww!

Anne said...

Hiya Bubbie: Wherever you go on your travels, I know you will blog about it when you get back.

I just returned from Niagara Falls Canada and am still recovering from the trip. Hence - no blogging yet on my blog.

Take care on your trip and I hope you recover nicely.

Shauna said...

Please spare us from the pics of alien things in your food.....enjoy!



So, are you saying "road trip" food for YOU does NOT consist of beer, Cheeto's, and Redvines?!? Sigh...happy trails, my friend!

HEY! How do I become a "follower"??? I just scrolled down to peek at your gallery (my gawd, but I really think those are NOT paintings and instead photographs...) and find everybody who's anybody is one of your "followers". True, I'm more of a STALKER, but I WANT to be a "follower"...??

Linda D. in Seattle

Denver Refashionista said...

Buen suerte.

have myelin said...

Ahhhh! You are the real Sally of "When Harry Meets Sally!"