Monday, March 30, 2009

Melville , Karma and Big Ta-tas

'We can not live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our action run as causes, and they come back to us as effects'.
~ Herman Melville

This quote struck a chord with me recently. With my brain just a little too hazy to say what I feel succinctly, this quote followed by my rambling will have to do.

It's been less than 2 years since I began to Blog. I'm not sure what prompted my venture into cyber-sharing. I had been reading other MS Blogs, but I was reticent about being "revealing" or God forbid - "whiny".

Through blogging, I have felt less isolated. I don't live in a cave, but it is true..."you don't get MS unless you get MS". (You know, we look so damned good)
I have received and hopefully shared encouragement as well as personal experiences with the medical profession and the wild world of meds.
I have LMAO with many of you ( I find emotional lability to be a perk) as well as sharing the choice expletives about how this disease sucks.

Recently there has been a weird (even for me) twist in my symptoms/diagnosis/prognosis. For this reason, I haven't posted much and I haven't painted much. In fact I haven't done much of anything but shake my head and attempt to regain my psychological and physical footing. You could say that I am "working off Karma".
I was laughing and chatting with an old friend of mine this past weekend. We were discussing how I always hesitate to answer the question, "how are you doing?" I mean...really? How many people actually asking that question really want an honest answer?How many want an answer at all? If I answer, "Great!" They probably got the short response they were looking for in their attempt to be graciously concerned, but I on the other hand end up being a freakin' liar. Ahh, then there are those who subscribe to the principals of quantum mechanics. "you are what you think". I don't think , I know I feel like dog crap .
She retold a story to me of an enlightened master and his wife taking a trip on a train. His wife's purse was stolen on their journey. As he told it, his wife's purse was not stolen from her, she was relieved of her purse! It wasn't a tragedy, it was a blessing. She was working off Karma. LOL So my am I? I'm working off Karma! LOL

Even through this process, reading your posts helps keep me on more of an even keel. Sorry if I fail to leave a comment, just know that I do appreciate being a part of this community.

Despite the nearly 10,000 hits to this humble blog, the people (yes...REAL people) I have felt a connection to through our shared human experience have been in the minority of my page hitters. According to my page statistics most people come to my blog after searching for something less wholesome.

Although I adore the moniker given me by my grand daughter these are not the pages on which to find among the many synonyms: tits, hooters or big boobies. It didn't help matters much when I published a rant titled
Woman to Woman after reading an article/advertisement for designer vagina's.

Then there are those *shudder* that think I must be an eighty year old Jewish Grandma and they are still looking for ta-tas. What is the matter with you people?????

So for the record:

I am a grandma. twice.
I've been around only 50 years. I doubt I'll see 80.
I was raised Catholic
and...despite being a bad Catholic girl, you can't see my tits!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Well, I've never been to Texas....

* as she sings, "but I kinda like the music".

That was Spain, but...WHATEVER!

It's true, I've never been to Texas, But a small sampling of my salivary glands have been. They left the inside of my lower lip last Thursday , got themselves to the University of Texas to be studied for the presence of Sjogrens Syndrome.

The procedure was basically painless with just a few disolvable stitches, but for three days I had lips that rivaled those of the OctoMom.
I have been told that the lip biopsy is the definitive test for the presence of Sjogrens. An earlier battery of blood work was somehow not conclusive, even though it also read "positive".

As with most things medical, the more I read about Sjogrens the more I don't understand. It can be as simple and annoying as having dry eyes and mouth (apparently from those pesky white cells attacking and destroying the cells in your glandular tissue much as MS does with your myelin sheaths) to having a host of symptoms from it affecting your joints, organs and central nervous system.

Who knew?